Chill Yo Islam Yo

Sorry for not posting this whole month, I’ve been busy recently since I went to California to give Dawah to Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Just playing, I was there chilling with family under palm trees and getting some work done.

Anyways, I wanted to write about an idea which I realized is coming into the minds of some Muslims.

So the issue is some brothers and sisters who have gone through a transition of not practicing to practicing Muslims have developed a mentality of rejecting “Marriage” in Islam, they have this black and white view of opposite genders because of their past experiences.

Now past experiences can obviously effect a persons psychology, but that doesn’t give you the right to say things like “all men or women are evil”, because that’s obviously not the case. When you make a statement like that, I take it as you dissing yourself  and your own parents. We should be real careful how we use our rhetoric and separate the actions of some people from a group of people.

See let me break it down like tetris, just because you had a relationship with someone and things went wrong for whatever reason, it doesn’t give you the right to use that experience and reject marriage, which is so sacred in Islam.

Most of the time, the relationships that went wrong just had wrong objectives and people didn’t have sincere intentions and a proper approach in the first place. I don’t need to go into details, but I think you all know what I mean.

This brings me to another point, sometimes I hear young Muslims say statements like “oh right now I’m going to chill and mess around, we’ll worry about marriage later when we get older”.

Well guess what, your not guaranteed another breath of your life. So your gamble isn’t justifiable in any way, but I guess if Allah swt allows you to live after you entered into this state, then you have begun to take his mercy for granted.

Back to the issue, we have no right to make a final judgment on any person , this can only be done by Allah swt alone. A lot of brothers and sisters have messed up and are trying to come closer to Allah swt, this is very common in the society we live in. Let’s stop acting like we’re all perfect and we haven’t messed up either, only through the mercy of Allah swt have our hearts opened up again and we should look at everyone with the same potential rather than being arrogant.

The last thing I wanted to talk about was how some people show off about how they have dated or had a relationship with such and such person in the past, they bring this up although that person they dated when through a transformation and have mash’Allah begun practicing Islam.

This annoys me the most, we should be happy when we see a brother praying who didn’t pray before start praying or a sister start dressing modestly. If you keep bringing up the past, then your just playing devil’s advocate. This topic is very deep and I can’t sum it up in a couple of paragraphs but I wanted to just bring awareness so we can speak out about it once we see it.

Anyways, let’s keep everyone in our dua’s.

Some tips to remind ourselves with:

1. Stop bragging about your sins, start asking for forgiveness. Our beloved Prophet said: “No one with the slightest particle of arrogance in his heart will enter paradise.”
2. Don’t say no to Marriage! If you don’t get married then what are you going to do? Exactly, everyone gets lonely eventually, after all Allah swt created Eve for our beloved Prophet Adam.
3. Not everyone is evil, don’t judge the whole world off experiences with certain people, that’s not fair.
4. Don’t backbite about the sins people have committed in the past, that person might have repented and yea you never know!
5. Look in the mirror everyday and thank Allah swt for the progress you have made as a Muslim, we are all struggling and some of us are at different stages than others, be patient with people.

Sorry for the crusty post, haha. Insh’Allah this coming month I’ll try to deliver better.

May Allah (swt) help us take constructive criticism, give us understanding of the deen and dunya! Ameen.

Salam,

Chill Yo Halal Marriage Yo, this institute reminds me of Al Maghrib Institute and the fiqh of love class. I wonder if they are connected.

Peep the video below for the upcoming event.

A-Z of Love and Mercy - Essential knowledge.
The Fiqh of Marriage and Divorce
by Sheikh Tawfique Chowdhury
Manchester: Sat 6th - Sun 7th June 2009
Enroll here

I also put the video for Fiqh of Love below, enjoy!

Salam,

Of course no one can disagree from an Islamic perspective that the belief one should get married earlier is best. Due to societal pressures and natural inclinations. Recently I’ve seen some brothers and sisters become trend settaz with doing their nikkah and holding off until the actual wedding and valima. Now we have to use our intelligence and be practical also, but what annoys me is alot of parents think you have to posess a degree before you can get married. I disagree, if you want your child to be within the parameters of shariah you should get their nikkah done and place trust in Allah.

I’m not saying the couple should live togetheir right away, all im saying is in this type of society its easy to slip on shatan’s mopped floor. To avoid accidents, their are precautionary actions which are very beneficial that can avoid either sex from crossing boundaries, you know what I mean by that term. Don’t think too deep though.

Looking for a suitable partner is not easy, but at the same time maintaining our eman is extremely important. The question is where do you draw the line in looking for that special person? Of course you will get a whole unique set of answers. One of the thing that Islam puts emphasis on is marriage. Marriage is half of your life, you will be with a certain human being of the opposite sex until the day you die. (I HOPE) No Adam and Steve up in this. Anyhows let me get back to my point, with the cultural challenges and everyday gender interaction, we can all agree its not real easy to just completely leave it alone. Its part of our nature to have affection for the opposite sex and we should follow the set principles and guidelines in order to go about completing this.

One hadith which really amazed me was The Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “A woman is married for her wealth, her reputation, her beauty, or her religion. Choose the religious one or you may be ruined.” [Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 62, Number 27] Very interesting, it’s easy for many people to look at this and say ” oh can’t I marry a hot girl”. Well see you need to realize something, its not about the looks, looks are decieving, its about the actions. Now if you get a beautiful woman that has good actions, then your set .

Now the question of the day, how do you go about finding the opposite spouse? make a dua out of desperation and full intention from your heart. Inshallah you will find your suitable spouse. According to sunnipath, one dua is “Rabbana aatina fi’d dunya hasana wa fi’l aakhirati hasana wa qina `adhab an-nar.” [O Lord! Grant us good in this life, and good in the next, and save us from the torment of the Fire] (Qur’an, 2: 200), intending a suitable and righteous spouse with “fi’d dunya hasana” (good in this life).

I know at the end of the day, for many people its hard to stick within the limits, but I guess defining limits is a term that is very flexible these days. The solution, the parents from the generation before need to understand the challenges for the youth right now. This isn’t pakistan, their needs to be dialog and understanding. Parents gotta help their kids when they are ready before they up doing something which is haram. So if your a parent reading this and your son or daughter is complaning about getting married. Make MOVES SOON! Of course you gotta be practical as I said before but don’t miss the chance when you have a good person at the table.

Alot of brothers and sisters want to get to know each other before they get married, hmm I don’t think their is nothing with that. I think you should definitely know a person before you marry them. The question is how much is enough? At the end of the day you gotta love someone fo real, not because you were forced into it. So we need to think about how are we going to approach this without getting out of hand but also bring the real relationships of familys back. As Abdul Malik said ” Alot of desi parents don’t even face each other in bed”.

So whats the solution? you tell me…that was just scratching the surface.

May Allah give us patience in finding a spouse and give us the right understanding to fix our problems. Ameen!

Oh yea one more official Hadith before i bounce….

Sayyiduna Umar (Allah be pleased with him) said, “I heard the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) say, �If you relied on Allah as He should be relied on, He would provide for you as He provides for birds. They go out hungry in the early morning, and return full in the evening.” [Tirmidhi] The scholars note that birds do not merely place their trust in Allah: they go out early, and take all means to fulfill their goal.

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Salam,

Inshallah i want to get married one day, imagine your wife waking you up for fajr, no need for alarm clocks. You know what they say, the earlier the better!

Any hows I think we all want to get married, find a partner that can help us stay on the deen and finally get those shatan temptations out of our hearts, this society puts alot of pressure on all of us and we have to constantly keep ourselves in check. Its part of our natural inclination, if your a man you need a woman, and if your a woman you need a man. Doesn’t get any simpler than that. Allah sent eve to Prophet Adam in paradise because he felt lonely. How wonderful, Subhanullah!

As you know getting married is completing half of our deen, so you would definitely want to make sure your choice is official tissue, pray Allah gets you the right person thats helps you stay on Islam, so inshallah you can chill together in heaven reclining on couches sipping that wine. I want to put some ayahs of Surah Waqiah - which is Surah number 56, its real beautiful. Allah describes how the believers will be chilling in paradise.

[Waqia`h 56:27] And those on the right - how (fortunate) are those on the right![Waqia`h 56:28] Among thorn-less lote-trees.

[Waqia`h 56:29] And clusters of banana plants.

[Waqia`h 56:30] And in everlasting shade.

[Waqia`h 56:31] And in perpetually flowing water.

[Waqia`h 56:32] And plenty of fruits.

[Waqia`h 56:33] That will neither finish, nor ever be stopped.

[Waqia`h 56:34] And raised couches.

[Waqia`h 56:35] We have indeed developed these women with an excellent development.

[Waqia`h 56:36] So made them as maidens.

[Waqia`h 56:37] The beloved of their husbands, of one age.

[Waqia`h 56:38] For those on the right.

Wow Inshallah, Now let me talk about the real story, since the Internet has everything you can think of, including Shiekh Google, for 24 hour fatwas. Recently i have also seen a spark of Muslim matrimonial websites and advertisements for them. I don’t know how legit they are and if you agree with the process of how the marriage is set up, but it seems as if some of them are contributing to successful marriages, they even have success stories.

Alot of Muslims seeking partners seem to be using the Internet to find their spouse, but i feel uncomfortable for some reason. I guess thats me, i was just analyzing how these sites present themselves, one site called SingleMuslim.com offers random prizes such as umrah vacation for new couples, you can actually win a umrah trip for free. Yea thats hot, imagine going to umrah or hajj as soon as you get married, start a new life with your new wife fresh like new born baby’s.

One of the success stories was written by a sister named Alia she wrote ”

“Thank you so much I have found the love of my life we are due to marry early this summer. I owe this website everything inshallah I will be happier then ever before and it all down to Single Muslim allah hafiz.”

Alia, London

In addition they also have Islamic articles on marriage and how to be a good spouse, seems like they really trying to make the online service the newest way for Single Muslims to get married especially in the west and not using the traditional methods. I guess it all comes down to the situation and we must make the right decisions to approach marriage the halal way.

So what do you think about these websites and their services for Muslims trying to get married? If your looking for other ways to get married, the two biggest Islamic organizations in North America ISNA and ICNA offer matrimonial services also.

Here is a good article from sunnipath.com called “What should i do to find a spouse”?.

So we pray Allah help all of us get married to a good person and help us raise good family’s and make this society better!

Oh yea i wasn’t trying to promote any website or anything, i just wrote this article to think about these particular sites and get some feedback on what you think just for the record.

And just to let all of you know my mom does ristha’s, haha, no seriously, she told me recently she has a list of 40 girls and she has hardly any men, so if you want to get the hookup, let me know ill refer you to the my mom!

Wasalam I’m out! Just remember ” Chill Yo Islam Yo Gotta Get Married Quick and the Halal way YO!

(Couches) 

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Salam,

Inshallah every one of us plan on getting married, I don’t know if it will be a traditional Islamic wedding or it will be an American dream wedding……

But i wanted to talk about the benefits of getting married at the masjid or (MAS GID) as the Arabs say.

Well first of all I’m not here to say that it’s wrong to get married at a hotel or nice hall, but recently i went to my cousins wedding at the ISNA center in toronto, canada and hands down the brides side threw a straight memorable halal wedding. Click on the picture to the left to see the center.

Not only because the ISNA center is huge, a multi million dollar project, but also because it can facilitate events such as Islamic weddings and other events but having a life changing event at the masjid like a wedding, imagine the blessings, more simplicity, you revive Islamic spirit between the wife and groom.. Yea Yea!

So any how’s every Islamic wedding has a nikkah (legal marriage ceremony done under the ways of the shariah law), and what better place to have it then at a masjid that’s big and clean, also it was completely separate, so automatically it was far less fitnah, again im not saying that weddings that are combined are haraam, but we are here to be on the safe side right??.

And besides that if the masjid looks nice, inside out, and the one i went to recently was beautiful, it had the whole dome, crescent, tower, it was amazing mashallah.

So i realized that while i was there i caught my prayers in jamaat, the bride and groom should both be happy they got the rewards for bringing people to the masjid and reminding them that marriage shouldn’t just be marriage, but as the quran says getting married is completing half of our deen.

The food was real good, the imam gave a short, funny talk on having an Islamic marriage, that automatically put the newly married couple in perspective on how marriage should be. And of course all of us who plan on getting married

I believe that these type of marriages definitely are memorable they revive the sunnah a bit more and have a lot of blessings, my own sister had hers at the masjid, it was real nice, but more importantly if the masjid has these services we should support the masjid and the Islamic center, some people argue that a masjid is to pray only, not for weddings, but mashallah it makes life easier when getting married there, its the straight sunnah package…..especially for the groom who saves money!!! =P

So inshallah if you want get married at the masjid, there are far more a benefit to this life event and this is just another chill yo islam yo post! Ameen na i mean!

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